Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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