she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
