My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
