What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
