Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
