Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
