We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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