If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
