hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
