omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
