Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
