i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
