We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
