Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He passed out mid-signature
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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