goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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