David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My life is pants optional.
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