I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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