I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
