That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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