i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
