office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
