I want to have your abortion
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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