Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
