You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
