Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
