don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
