Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
