Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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