ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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