He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
