Just fell off a train. Bad.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
