I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
