she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
