there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do vagina's smell?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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