dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
