Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
