There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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