school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
