in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
