I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
