some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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