She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
