were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
