you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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