Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
