Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
