i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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