and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
