looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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