they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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