it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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