Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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